captain_fucking_magic | In a bar...

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In a bar...

Harry's having a fairly good day, as these things go. He's taking a break from work, and has absconded with Perry's laptop to the bar, where he is typing up a blog post detailing their last case. Or at least, what he's allowed to blog about. Perry still insists on checking these things over before Harry posts them (confidentiality and all that, which fine. Harry can work with that), but he's got pretty good at knowing which bits to leave out or alter slightly to keep Perry in business.

And besides. It's kind of fun, being like Dr Watson. Only, you know. Without the doctor part.

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"What? Yeah. Like, all the time. Why?"

He's really not sure what her question has to do with anything. Of course he listens to himself.

Darcy looks at him again, another long moment.

"...You know, you're kind of adorable," she says, finally.

Kind of like the last puppy in the shop. Which is the last puppy because it looks really derpy and is standing in a puddle.

Well, she's asked a question, and he answered it, so now he's stuck on it.

"No, I wanna know. Why? I'm... I'm generally curious."

Darcy laughs, she can't help herself.

"It's because most guys don't ask girls if they'll show their scars to their gay boss who is not in the room. Not sober, any how."

She wonders if she should ask Harry how many times he's had a drink in his lap or some girl call him a jerk. And how many times he's felt he's deserved a drink in his lap or some girl calling him a jerk.

Not as often as Darcy might think, actually.

Usually the drink winds up on his face.

"Yeah, well. That just makes me special, doesn't it?" he asks, laying on the innocence with a trowel.

"You're something alright." Darcy thinks it's a miracle he's made it this far.

"So, this Perry. Into scars, is he?"

"I dunno," Harry says. "He seemed pretty fucking interested in mine."

He seems more annoyed than anything. Seriously, he's a grown man. He is capable of taking care of himself, even after he'd been shot.

Darcy does some quick mental arithmetic and comes up with a big cartoon question-mark. What is this guy's deal, apart from no mental filter? (Something Darcy can appreciate.)

"The clingy type?" she ventures.

"More like I think he'd rather have a yappy little dog instead of someone to do his filing for him."

He shrugs and rolls his eyes, already long-used to being told 'Sit. Stay.'

"The yappy little dog wouldn't know the filing system though."

This is not answering any of Darcy's questions. Namely, the question of exactly how thoroughly this guy's boss has been checking out his 'scar'. Would it be crass to just ask?

Hey, it's a real scar. From a real bullet. So there.

"Not according to him."

Perry doesn't even know the filing system, though. Harry considers this job security.

Darcy's pretty sure just asking would be cheating. But she's also pretty sure that Harry is either smart or stupid enough to just dance round the question all day.

"So. You and him..."

She tries various phrases in her head for a moment. Ever do it on the floor of a bathroom in Memphis? No, that might actually be a unique-to-her experience. Doing the horizontal tango? Hiding the salami? Oh no wait, that one's gross. Fine. Let's be all junior high.

"Are you a thing? You know..."

"A thing? What?"

It takes the time to say that before Harry realises what she means.

"Oh. Oh! No. God no. That would be..."

"Icky like a brother?" Darcy supplies. She's pretty sure she got a whiff of denial there, but whatever.

"Weird," he finishes.

He doesn't say why it would be weird, but weird is weird.

"Fair enough." Darcy shrugs. "Probably for the best. If you'd been gay as well, I'd have probably been required to adopt you or something. There's probably a rule somewhere. Or rent you out as a Tony Stark-a-like stripper."

She tilts her head, mischievously.

"Actually..."

"Yeah, no," Harry says. "It's weird enough that he exists at all."

"Yeah, mostly millionaire kids end up like Lindsey Lohan. Or worse. I've seen some of his early press-cuttings, I'm pretty amazed he made it through college."

Way to miss the point Darcy.

"Who?" asks Harry.

No, really. Who?

"How do you not know who Lindsay Lohan is?" Well, at least it proves he's not gay. "Oh no wait, um. That hasn't happened yet, has it? Uhm, what about Drew Barrymore?"

"She was smoking hot in Charlie's Angels."

This is probably not the best thing to be saying to a young woman, but Harry has never been accused of having an abundance of tact.

Darcy gives him an odd look.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

She suddenly thinks this might be fairly common for Harry.

"Yeah, sure. Drew Barrymore," Harry says quickly. "I don't remember Iron Man ever doing coke though, but I don't know. Maybe I missed that issue."

He shrugs lazily.

Ah, there we go.

"You cannot look at Tony Stark and tell me that guy never cut loose when he was at college. I always figured Stark Industries had the best PR, because the most we'd ever see was like, 'STARK JUNIOR PARTIES ON THE BEACH FOR SPRING BREAK' in the Enquirer, then a picture of him like, laughing with his bros. I thought he was gay until I realised that probably actually we were only being shown what Stark Industries *wanted* us to see. I mean, he disappeared for like six months at one point. Any bets for what he might have been doing in that time?"

"Rehab," Harry says. "He does that. He's been a raging alcoholic ever since his parents died. The guy gets sick if he has too much blood in his alcohol system."

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