captain_fucking_magic | Round Two

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Round Two

Harry's still rather new to this whole Milliways business, and it takes him a good while to accept the fact that he went through the front door from Perry's house, and has now gone back through that same door to find himself in a completely different house.

He's going to ignore the whole other country business all together. For now.

"That's, uhm... What the fuck?"

OK, he wasn't sure what was going to happen, but this was not it.

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"What do Twiglets taste like?" Harry asks. He takes one anyway, and seems less than impressed with it. "Seriously, what is that?"

John snorts. "Wow. He's distracted that easily? You sure about this one, Mar?"

"Hey, fuck off, Slick."

"Oh wow, you can almost smell the testosterone."

Mary rolls her eyes, annoyed at both John and Harry for acting like children, even if they're both kind of justified.

"Keep it in your trousers boys, I've seen 'em both and there's not that much difference."

She picks up a Twiglet. "And it's called Marmite. We pretend to love it on toast to annoy foreigners." She eats it anyway.

"Well it sure annoyed me," Harry says. Twiglets are not something he'd consider food. Ever.

John leans back and watches Harry for a moment. "So, what do you do, Harry?" he asks in a tone usually reserved for scary big brothers and over-protective fathers.

Harry has no way to answer that without sounding like a dick, so he chooses to ignore it entirely.

Mary dies a little on the inside, and considers beating John to death with a pillow. As much as she loves the guy, the shotgun cleaning's getting a little old.

"Harry's... New in town. He's staying with a friend till he gets sorted out."

Sneakily, in the hope that whatever happens, this will show Harry no hard feelings, she drops a Skittle into his hood.

John nods. "So, if I hadn't shown up and paid for this, you would have?" he asks Mary. He sounds less than impressed.

Harry just sighs. "Should I just go?" he asks.

Mary glares at John, and since Harry still hasn't noticed the Skittle thing, drops a few more in there.

"He's new in town John. He's only got dollars on him? Anyway, I know how he feels. It happened to me in Auckland. I don't know what I would have done if the guy next to me on the plane hadn't taken pity and let me stop at his for the night. Harry, you can stay if you like. I don't mind."

She sits next to the cat, an equal distance from both John and Harry. The cat ignores her, but she rubs him behind the ear anyway.

"I just didn't expect to get the third degree," Harry says. "Seriously, who are you supposed to be? Her brother?"

He ignores the fact that they've apparently slept together though. Because, ew.

John only snorts and shakes his head. The real Robert Downey Jr is on the TV, so he pretends to pay attention to him instead.

Mary rolls her eyes.

"He's more like a maiden aunt." And then, because it's funny, she flicks a Smartie at John. It hits him (honestly accidentally) on the cheek.

Harry decides to follow John's lead and pretend to pay attention to the movie.

And then he sees the lead, finally.

"Holy shit, you weren't kidding." Stark is so much more macho than Harry could ever hope to be, though. It's a little embarrassing.

"Spooky, huh?" Mary grins at his face, and lands another Skittle in Harry's hoodie.

"You're not nearly as manicured though, so don't worry, no one will guess. Oh, yes, your shirt. I can stick it in the dryer. John. Want to come help."

It's not really a question. She grabs her keys and waves them at Harry.

"I promise not to get locked out."

"Yeah," Harry agrees. Now he can't take his eyes off the fucker. Seriously, it's starting to weird him out a little.

John gives Mary a reproachful look, but follows after her anyway.

"Seriously, what's the deal with him?" he asks once their out of earshot. "Besides being a raging homophobe, or did you miss that?"

"I didn't know about the homophobia thing, I swear. Anyway, what's the deal with you? I knew you'd come for a good laugh, but suddenly you're polishing your blooming shot-gun."

Mary waits for John at the bottom of the stairs, looking annoyed.

John joins her as he tosses a quick glance over his shoulder.

"I don't like him," he says honestly. "Can't even say why. I just don't. Please tell me you didn't just bring him home because of your massive crush on RDJ."

He totally chooses to ignore his own massive crush on RDJ. Shut up.

"No. Not everything Sherlock says true you know. He was mainly annoyed 'cause I kicked him out."

Mary leads the way to the back-door and the lean-to with the laundry in.

"He's kind of sweet, and he makes me laugh. Anyway, it's not like my dance-card is that full, is it?"

"Yeah, I figured that's what happened with Sherlock," John says. "But this guy, I don't know. He just bugs me. Like, make sure you've still got your ID and stuff when he leaves, you know?"

He sighs and leans against the wall. "And why's he wearing what's his name's shirt? That thing's starting to see more action than any of us."

"I suggested a threesome with when we came back here, and he exploded wine everywhere. To be honest, I'm not so sure it's homophobia as much as generic not-very-good-with-sex." Mary shrugs. "And actually, I kind of trust him."

While she dumps the laundry in the dryer she briefly outlines their trip to the shop.

"I just don't think he'd deliberately hurt me, or try and betray me like that. He's a good guy, secretly."

"Yeah, he is American," John agrees. "Isn't that where all the religious nuts come from these days? But if the guy steals things from shops because he's bored, how do you know he's not just casing you out?"

He seems to realise what he just said and shoots her a worried look. The sort of look that says that they just left an admitted thief alone in her flat.

Mary turns the drier on, biting her lip.

"He's had plenty of opportunity to nick stuff before now." She says, quietly, tucking the laundry-basket where it won't get kicked. "John, I think he's alright. He gives me the same vibe as Sherlock does. Anyway, it probably won't last, he'll probably end up going back to America eventually. He's got this girl back home..."

She shrugs, trying to make light of it.

"Yeah, well," John says simply. "If he hurts you, I'll hurt him back."

He doesn't even sound remotely close to kidding.

"Ahh, where would I be without you?" Mary pulls John down for a hug. "Always looking out for me."

Releasing him, she leads the way back.

"And you've got to admit, he's pretty cute."

"That, I don't deny," John says, his tone a bit lighter than it was earlier. "Still doesn't mean that I trust him, though."

Still, he offers her a weak smile.

Mary takes the smile as a peace offering, and nudges him.

"We should get back up there. Knowing my luck he's probably been attacked by the cat..."

She doesn't mention anything about stealing anything.

Harry has not been attacked by the cat. Actually, he's got the TV on mute and is looking like he's ready to bolt.

"Hey, uhm. I should probably get going," he says when Mary and John show back up. "I can just... uhm..."

He gives Mary a look that he hopes she interprets as him asking if he can just open any old door to get home.

"Just go ahead and just take the shirt to the bar the next time you go."

Oh lord. He's doing that cuting his enemies to death thing. Mary widens her eyes at John meaningfully.

"Yeah, if you like. I'll show you out though." Meaning, I don't know how you're going to get out either, but the front door is less mad than the bathroom door. She lets him get in front of her, and points out the Skittles in his hoodie, shooting John a mischievous grin.

John just rolls his eyes and then none-too-subtly checks around to make sure everything is still where it belongs.

"Hey, I'm sorry about all... that," Harry says as he makes his way to the front door. "Uhm, do you want me to leave the shoes here, or...?"

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