Round Two

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry's still rather new to this whole Milliways business, and it takes him a good while to accept the fact that he went through the front door from Perry's house, and has now gone back through that same door to find himself in a completely different house.

He's going to ignore the whole other country business all together. For now.

"That's, uhm... What the fuck?"

OK, he wasn't sure what was going to happen, but this was not it.

Comments

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Welcome to London. Well, the bit of London that has the downstairs hall in it." Mary's already done this once, remember? "We're just up those stairs. One moment..." She's texting Sherlock, warning him that he's not to come over tonight. You never know, it might work.

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry nods lightly.

"This... this isn't possible."

His narration will never doubt Mary's sanity again. Well, not on this matter, anyway.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Well, how else did you think I got here? Or, you know, to LA? I wouldn't worry about it if I were you." Mary pats him on the arm distractedly. "I think the physics of this are beyond anyone's ken." And she takes the lead up the stairs.

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry isn't quite sure why, but he feels compelled to reach out for her hand as he follows her up the stairs.

Because this? Seriously fucking weird. Like, rats serving drinks weird.

"Yeah, OK," he says absently.

Congratulations, Mary. You've damn near rendered Harold Lockhart speechless.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

She takes his hand- culture shock is never nice- and keeps hold of it as she goes to unlock the door. It's already unlocked.

"Oh no..." She mumbles as she pushes it open instead.

[consulting_detective]

Spread out on the sofa is six-foot-two of leather-jacket-wearing, paint-smeared smug bastard.

He ignores Mary entirely and fixes his cold gaze on the bloke she's brought in with him.

Mary may recognise the look on his face.

"I knew you liked that pile of dreck, but honestly?" he asks, not hiding the light smile that plays on the edge of his mouth. "Bringing home a cheap look-alike for a quick shag? I must say I'm a bit disappointed."

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Charming as ever, I see." Mary pushes Harry behind her, pretty much subconsciously. "I told you not to be here."

[consulting_detective]

"Honey, what's this all about?" Harry asks, feeling distinctly un-manly about being made to hide behind Mary.

Sherlock, in turn, waves his hand dismissively at Mary's comment.

"You gave me precisely ten seconds between sending off your text and opening the door," he says. "Where on Earth was I supposed to go? Unless you wanted me to climb out the window and face yet another arrest."

He remains remarkably calm throughout this entire thing.

"You should also know that your cat was sick on the carpet."

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"That's because you stuff him with tuna every time you come over. Did you clean it up?"

She's not really expecting him to have cleaned it up.

"Also sorry about that, I thought I would take longer to get home if you were here."

[captain_fucking_magic]

He did clean it up, but he just shrugs dramatically. He'd much rather let her fret about it until she worked it out on her own.

Harry, however, is still confused as all hell.

"Clue a guy in?" he asks. "What did he mean, 'cheap look-alike'?"

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Great. He didn't clean it up.

"Harry, this is Sherlock. He's an artist. He also likes to make cheap shots. Yes I had noticed that he looks similar, no it did not inform my decision to bring him home, alright?"

She folds her arms and wishes (not for the first time) she was six inches taller.

"Anyway, what would I do? Insist on calling him Sherlock?"

[captain_fucking_magic]

Sherlock only shrugs, and is well on his way to ignoring her and pretending that he owns the sofa.

"Wait. Sherlock? What?" asks Harry. "I thought you said you never dated this guy?"

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary looks at him blankly for a moment, then suppresses a laugh, mainly because of the height difference.

"No, I didn't. In this London, there's a very popular movie about Sherlock Holmes. I must admit, you do have a strong resemblance to the lead. It's almost uncanny. I think he's taller though. But it's not why I brought you here. He's being a brat."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"You haven't seen me with my shoes on," Harry says. "They make a difference."

Only because of the massive fucking heels on them.

Sherlock finds this whole display rather disgusting and gets up to rattle around in the kitchen. Loudly.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Oh for goodness' sake.

"Sherlock!" Mary follows him into the kitchen. "It's time to go."

It's lovely he's practising his cockblock technique but seriously.

"You can come back later. You can even take the custard creams with you."

[consulting_detective]

"Thank you," he says with mock enthusiasm.

Sherlock grabs the entire pack.

And the milk from the fridge for good measure.




And a left-over something in a Tupperwear. And with not so much as a passing glance to either of the other two, he swoops out of the flat like he should be wearing a cape. Even with the waist-length jacket, it's still impressive.


Harry is just confused.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"I don't believe he stole the milk. He's such a child..."

Mary pokes her head in the fridge, and yes, all the milk is gone.

"Come in, it's safe now. I can't offer you tea... Wine?" She sees the look on his face. "Oh dear. Look, don't worry about it, he's always like that. Oh. I should flick John a warning text."

She comes back into the living room carefully carrying two glasses and a bottle of wine, and pats the sofa next to her.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"I suppose I should pay attention to this Sherlock Holmes thing, then," Harry says as he joins her on the sofa. "If I look like the star, it could be good news. Especially in LA."

He takes the wine, and unlike the beer from earlier, actually drinks it.

He's also wondering why no-one ever made him aware that he looks like some movie star.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"You could, I guess. You could make a fortune at children's parties and things." Mary chucks her phone away from her.

"Wait, you've never heard of Robert Downey Jr? And you're in LA? Who was Iron Man in your LA?"

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry laughs. "Iron Man? That's a comic, sweetheart," he says.

OK, to be fair, the first Iron Man film won't come out for two and a bit years, still. And Harry's narration has no fucking clue who will play Tony Stark if and when it does happen.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mind blown.

"They never made the movie in your LA? Well, we should definitely watch it, I think you'll like it."

Mary puts down her wine-glass.

"We can get take-aways as well, if you like."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Take away what?" Harry asks, legitimately confused.

Seriously, she's English. These people invented the goddamn language, so the least she could do is speak it.

"And you sure that won't like, violate some sort of time-space-whatever law?"

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Um, there's menus on the fridge, and most of those places deliver."

Mary manages to understand and miss the point all at once, and is already on her knees sorting through her DVDs (one day she will alphabetise. Maybe she could annoy Sherlock into doing it?)

"And unless Tony Stark shows up at the door, we'll probably be fine on the space-time thing." She sits back on her heels and looks back at him. "Though if that does happen I suggest a threesome."

[captain_fucking_magic]

That wine Harry was drinking?

All over the carpet.

"Fuck!" he chokes out.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary's giggling again as she fetches paper towels and salt.

"You're ridiculous. Tony Stark is very unlikely to show up." She pours the salt on the stains on the carpet, and takes the wine-glass away from Harry. "Here. Mop up."