In a bar...

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry's having a fairly good day, as these things go. He's taking a break from work, and has absconded with Perry's laptop to the bar, where he is typing up a blog post detailing their last case. Or at least, what he's allowed to blog about. Perry still insists on checking these things over before Harry posts them (confidentiality and all that, which fine. Harry can work with that), but he's got pretty good at knowing which bits to leave out or alter slightly to keep Perry in business.

And besides. It's kind of fun, being like Dr Watson. Only, you know. Without the doctor part.

Comments

[myeuh_muh]

"I was never into superheroes really. I wanted to be a pirate fairy princess when I was a kid. And sometimes also I wanted to be a robot."

Coming from a world where superheroes are a bald statement of fact (or over-statement, like some red and gold show-offs one could mention) Darcy missed out on running around pretending to be Superman.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"I guess being into capes would be kinda like growing up and wanting to be a cop," Harry says.

And he says cop like it's the last thing anyone would want to be.

[myeuh_muh]

"...Yeah I suppose. I mean, now that like, the whole... New York things happened there's like, major PR and kids running around wanting to be Captain America. Which is kind of cute. I saw a kid running around with an Iron Man mask, a Captain America shield and Hawkeye's bow in Walmart the other day." Darcy smiles despite herself.

"It was really cute till he yelled 'HULK SMASH' and took his sister out with the bow."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"New York happens a lot," Harry says. "Just you wait."

He's not sure how or why this is the first time New York happened. Probably best not to think about it.

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh yeah, I mean, aside from massive clean-up. It's sort of hilarious, only tourists film it now. Like, all these Doom-bots just sort of fall out of the sky and all the New Yorkers are like wiping the brick dust off their frappes and the tourists are just like Awhmahgawd. They've got better at getting everyone off the streets though. Like, actual patrols of specialised cops get everyone off the street."

Darcy remembers her milkshake.

"It's weird, it's like 'Come to New York! Try the food! Possibly get killed in a novelty terrorist act!' Like, what the hell."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"I always wondered if New Yorkers had super villain insurance," Harry says. "Like, collateral damage has got to be the biggest cause of death or something."

He goes back to tapping at his journal entry, apparently able to talk and type at the same time.

[myeuh_muh]

"Nope, still heart disease and that one place on Canal Street but I think they shut it down. You'd be surprised how good people get at ducking."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Huh. I thought it would have been, I don't know. Different."

He shrugs, not sure what else to add to that.

"Then again, apparently no-one in LA has earthquake insurance. I didn't even know there was earthquake insurance until I was paying the bills last month."

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh okay, yeah, you do get like, superhero insurance. It's like, super-complicated though. Like, if Iron Man falls on you you have to go though the government. But if like, a Doom-bot crushes your car it's all different. I hear it's not too bad, like, getting money out of them and stuff though."

Darcy blinks.

"Ha! Super-complicated..."

Okay it is totally lame but shut up, finals are hard.

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry actually laughs.

"Yeah, that's a good one," he says. "Probably super-expensive too."

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy giggle-groans, the only response one can give.

"Oh man, we are on fire! We should be on the telly or something. You could do magic tricks and I could make puns."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"No, they already have something like that," Harry says. "It's called FOX News."

Damn. He should have saved that one for Perry. Why can't he ever make adult jokes where someone would actually notice?

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh snap." Darcy grins.

"Okay, yes, we can do it. Biting wit, some guy flipping cards and shooting himself in the face, it's like, primetime material."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"I only did that once," Harry says. "And I was, like, sixteen. And technically, it was my friend Chook Chutney that shot me."

[myeuh_muh]

"Does that mean I'd get to shoot you?" A thought strikes her.

"Wait, I'm not wearing like, heels and a sparkly leotard. You can wear that. I'll shoot you, but I'm at least wearing pants."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Nah, this is 2006," Harry says. "Spangly jumpsuits are so over, unless you're in Vegas. Then even the magicians wear sequins."

[myeuh_muh]

"Can I have like, a sparkly tuxedo? We could have matching ones and be the fabulous version of Penn and Teller."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Sure, if you want," Harry says. "Go with silver, though. Gold's a bit too glam right now."

He turns his attention back to his writing.

"What's the word for that area of a car where, like, it doesn't have a trunk, but just a kind of space behind the back seat? You know what I'm talking about?"

[myeuh_muh]

"Uh... Good question. I guess the trunk?" Darcy thinks about this really hard. "Yeah, I think it's the trunk. You could say luggage rack if there's like, one of those sort of clippy folding things."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Huh. All right."

He goes back to typing.

"We found, like, all this coke in this car last week. It was insane. It had all, like, spilled out everywhere and got on me, which sucked."

For reasons.

[myeuh_muh]

"Uhuh."

Darcy is judging a little. Funny, she wouldn't have pegged him as the type.

"You could have pretended it was like, confectioner's sugar."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Yeah, but what good would that have done?" he asks. "It was kind of evidence."

He's just a tad oblivious right now. But of course Darcy made the same leap the cop did.

Of course.

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy gives him a bit of a look. Staring into Harry's ultimately guileless face (and noting that he wouldn't know what a guile was, or how he'd lost it) she's forced to admit, maybe, just maybe, he's telling the truth.

"I dunno. I usually just sort of brush it off and hope no one notices."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Yeah, well. That's what we tried. Who knew the cops in LA actually come when you call them, though."

Not Harry. Especially since they seemed to be completely absent last Christmas.

"I mean, we're not technically supposed to touch anything that might be real evidence, because we're not cops, but we didn't know it was in there until after it went everywhere."

[myeuh_muh]

"Wait, you mean that actually happened? Like, for real?"

You mean you don't just have an active imagination and serious dedication to a role-playing blog?