Round Two

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Harry's still rather new to this whole Milliways business, and it takes him a good while to accept the fact that he went through the front door from Perry's house, and has now gone back through that same door to find himself in a completely different house.

He's going to ignore the whole other country business all together. For now.

"That's, uhm... What the fuck?"

OK, he wasn't sure what was going to happen, but this was not it.

Comments

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry's still going to town on those Jelly Babies.

"Everything all right down there, honey?" Harry calls down. "I can... help? Can I help?

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"...You know if you'd text I would have sent you a picture. This is worse than that time with the drag-queen called Morris--" Mary cuts herself off as she comes back in and attempts a smile.

"Harry, this is John. He's paid for dinner but don't feel the need to thank him. I'm going to kill him later anyway."

She waves a hand behind her.

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"Oh. Uhm. Hi," Harry says. "Sorry, I didn't know that paying for dinner was a hanging offence. I'll be sure to let you pay from here on out."

You may want to take those Jelly Babies away from him. Really, he's like a child.

John, to his credit, is doing an amazing job at not laughing like a loon.

"Wow," he says. "Sherlock was right. He... yeah."

Harry blinks. "I what?"

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary, who is blushing furiously, treats John to a vicious poke in the side.

"You're so horrible." Then to Harry. "He's here because Sherlock told him I'd brought home a lookalike. I'll be killing him later too, even if I have to get a chair."

She snatches the take-away stuff off John and starts putting it out on the coffee-table.

"Will someone go and poke about till they find plates? And by someone I mean John."

She tries to communicate to Harry how sorry she is that this is happening, but she's mainly doing it by staring at him meaningfully.

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"Fine, kick me out," John says. He goes into the kitchen, leaving the other two behind. "Not like I can't hear you guys from all the way over here in the kitchen, though."

Harry nods slowly. "Right. Yeah. That what's his name guy. What's his name?" He reaches out to pick at the take away curry and what have you.

"Robert Downey Jr," John calls out from the kitchen, taking his sweet time at grabbing plates.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Oh gosh." Mary resists the urge to squirm. "There's a passing resemblance, at best. He's too short!"

She sits next to Harry and decides to ignore John, in the same way the cat does.

"Sorry about him. He was in the Army and now he has no manners. That's chicken tikka masala. Um. There should be some pilau rice somewhere. And poppadoms." She starts rooting through the bags in earnest.

[captain_fucking_magic]

John comes back out with enough tablewear for three. What? He paid. He can eat if he wants.

"No, he wears ridiculous shoes when he plays Holmes and Tony Stark. Watch the second one when he hangs up the painting in his mancave."

"Hey!" Harry interjects. "I'm not short. No shorter than him over there."

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"John. Shut up. I can't believe I ever let you make me toast."

Way to go on ignoring him there Mary.

"Harry. Here, eat this." She dips some poppadom into the sauce of the chicken and hands it to him. "Harry's never had curry before."

Maybe if she just pretends that she doesn't want to toss him out of the window it'll become true?

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"Careful, or I might make him toast next," says John. "Do you want to feed it do him or should I?"

Harry was enjoying the poppadom thing, up until John said that. Now he's sort of choking.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary can't help herself at that and starts giggling.

"You're still horrible. I'll tell Sherlock on you." She rubs Harry's back sympathetically. "Ignore the big mean man. I won't let him feed you toast."

She piles Harry's plate with a bit of everything. "Stuff furthest away from you is the hottest. It's called vindaloo. Traditionally it should be eaten whilst drunk, but it'll have gone cold by then."

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"Oh. Uhm. OK." Harry looks a bit lost. At everything.

John's already tucked into his own plate and shakes his head slightly. "Bit thick, this one," he says in a way that almost makes it sound like he's talking about the chicken somehow.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"I thought it was okay." Mary could also be talking about the chicken. "It's kind of sweet, actually."

She nudges Harry. "It's good when it's hot. Try the chicken first." Taking pity, she sits closer, leaning on him. "You've got the chicken tikka, lamb rogan josh, and beef vindaloo. The rice isn't anything special, they just dye some of the grains to make it look pretty. I've got yoghurt if it's a bit hot, alright?"

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"Yoghurt with rice?" asks Harry. "How do you people come up with this stuff?"

John snorts. "At least he's cute."

"What?" Harry looks up at John and moves away ever so slightly.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"It's good though. And you are cute. John's just jealous."

Mary stays close as she begins her own meal, hoping that she can keep Harry from just bolting and never returning by pure physical contact. She points a fork at John.

"John, you be nice, poor flower's never had curry before, and he's new in the country."

(She also mentally awards herself points for getting 'flower' into conversation.)

[captain_fucking_magic]

"No. Harry. Who the hell is Flower?" he asks. This conversation is not getting any easier.

"Hey, about that," says John as he looks up. "Where did you two meet?"

Harry has no idea how to answer that, so he just pays attention to his plate.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"At a bar. You know, the old fashioned way. None of this weeks of internet angst, like some people. We hit it off."

Mary's met people without certain papers before, you see.

"We were just going to chill with a movie, but now I'm just waiting for Bill and Mike to pop out of the..."

She suddenly looks horrorstruck.


"Oh no. John. You didn't invite Mike did you? Or Bill?"

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John looks like this this the best idea ever.

"Should I?" he asks eagerly. "I'm sure they'd love to hear about this, after all."

Harry seems like he's just realised something.

"Hey, you didn't go home with me because I look like this Bob Joe Whatever guy, did you?" he asks Mary.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary looks mortified.

"What? No. Cripes, what do you take me for? You're cute, and I like you. That's it. He's in no position to talk about taking people home on a weird coincidence, anyway. John, shut up and eat your lamb.

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John puts his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey, you didn't have to come after my toast," he says.

"The fuck does he keep talking about toast for?" asks Harry.

This whole thing is getting a bit too weird for him, so he gets up to find the movie.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary watches him since 1) if he makes a break for it, she wants to be able to get hold of him before he wanders out into a big city he doesn't know very well, and 2) the view is good.

"When I met John properly, I'd actually gone home with his flatmate. He made me toast and we hit it off. He still dines out on the fact he won me with toast to this day, despite the fact it was almost twenty years ago."

She realises what he's looking for.

"The DVD's in there. Just grab the remote, it's on the TV." She nudges John and makes a gesture that says 'Get a look at his arse' (no walkie-talkie).

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Oh. Uhm. Who keeps the remote on the TV? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of it being, you know, a remote?"

John shrugs lightly. "He has a point," he says.

"So, wait." Harry comes back to the sofa and mashes buttons until something happens. "You slept with him because he made you toast?"

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Well, there's was more to it than that. I think. I was very hungover. Our first kiss was magical. He had morning breath and I actually wanted tea, but he was in the way of the kettle."

Mary still laughs (fondest memories are often not the most romantic).

"Anyway, no complaining. You didn't even feed me."

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"Hey, it's not my fault we got interrupted by a big, gay Hitler," Harry defends.

It's John's turn to laugh and ask, "What?"

Harry's never used a DVD player before. Someone better help him.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Oh, he is gay. I wondered."

Mary finally takes pity on Harry and takes the remote off him. Maybe DVD players are different in the States.

"Harry took me back to his place. Only it wasn't his place, it's just where he's staying with this enormous blonde guy who burst in on us and started yelling, dragged Harry here out of bed and kicked him out, and then we made polite conversation whilst I was getting dressed."

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John nods. "So, your typical Friday night then. All right."

And in Harry's defence, between being 2005, prison, and never having any money when he's not in prison, he's just never had the opportunity to use one.