In a bar...

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry's having a fairly good day, as these things go. He's taking a break from work, and has absconded with Perry's laptop to the bar, where he is typing up a blog post detailing their last case. Or at least, what he's allowed to blog about. Perry still insists on checking these things over before Harry posts them (confidentiality and all that, which fine. Harry can work with that), but he's got pretty good at knowing which bits to leave out or alter slightly to keep Perry in business.

And besides. It's kind of fun, being like Dr Watson. Only, you know. Without the doctor part.

Comments

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy rolls her eyes.

"Look, what's all the dancing about? I mean, I guessed all by myself, right? So actually, all you're doing is having a perfectly legitimate conversation with someone who also knows what's going on. I mean, I am really interested in these books, like, I've seen them, but I don't know what they're about or anything. Why don't you tell me?"

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry gives her a deeply sceptical look.

"I told you. I been in trouble for this sorta thing before. So. Like. You know."

She probably doesn't, but he's in sulk mode right now. Words are not his forte.

"But it's just comics. It's not even a big deal. So. Yeah."

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh. Comics? That's kind of cool. I always fancied myself as like, Wonder Woman or something. What do you think?"

Darcy takes a look at Harry's face and tries not to smile. That's an honest to god pout right there. It's adorable, in a you-took-my-sweetie way.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"There were movies too, but I had to go somewhere else to see them," Harry says. If he gets shouted at again, he is so blaming Darcy.

"We only have the comics where I'm from, though."

[myeuh_muh]

"Ohmigod. Were they good? Was I in them?"

Darcy's eyes open wide.

"Did I have... A costume? Please, tell me I wasn't wearing heels."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"No," Harry says. "I mean, not in the ones I saw. Apparently there are some more, but I only watched the ones with Iron Man."

And he's still not over how fucking weird that was. Even after meeting himself here, watching some clone be Iron Man was a bit mind-blowing.

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh. That figures."

Biggest ego, biggest movie. She considers Harry.

"You know, actually, you only sort of look like him. Like, you could be a brother or a cousin maybe."

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry doesn't have anything near like Stark's ego. He's quite happy being a nobody, actually.

He shrugs at the idea of even being related to someone like Iron Man.

"He was my favourite cape when I was a kid. 'S the only reason I even watched it in the first place."

[myeuh_muh]

"I was never into superheroes really. I wanted to be a pirate fairy princess when I was a kid. And sometimes also I wanted to be a robot."

Coming from a world where superheroes are a bald statement of fact (or over-statement, like some red and gold show-offs one could mention) Darcy missed out on running around pretending to be Superman.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"I guess being into capes would be kinda like growing up and wanting to be a cop," Harry says.

And he says cop like it's the last thing anyone would want to be.

[myeuh_muh]

"...Yeah I suppose. I mean, now that like, the whole... New York things happened there's like, major PR and kids running around wanting to be Captain America. Which is kind of cute. I saw a kid running around with an Iron Man mask, a Captain America shield and Hawkeye's bow in Walmart the other day." Darcy smiles despite herself.

"It was really cute till he yelled 'HULK SMASH' and took his sister out with the bow."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"New York happens a lot," Harry says. "Just you wait."

He's not sure how or why this is the first time New York happened. Probably best not to think about it.

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh yeah, I mean, aside from massive clean-up. It's sort of hilarious, only tourists film it now. Like, all these Doom-bots just sort of fall out of the sky and all the New Yorkers are like wiping the brick dust off their frappes and the tourists are just like Awhmahgawd. They've got better at getting everyone off the streets though. Like, actual patrols of specialised cops get everyone off the street."

Darcy remembers her milkshake.

"It's weird, it's like 'Come to New York! Try the food! Possibly get killed in a novelty terrorist act!' Like, what the hell."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"I always wondered if New Yorkers had super villain insurance," Harry says. "Like, collateral damage has got to be the biggest cause of death or something."

He goes back to tapping at his journal entry, apparently able to talk and type at the same time.

[myeuh_muh]

"Nope, still heart disease and that one place on Canal Street but I think they shut it down. You'd be surprised how good people get at ducking."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Huh. I thought it would have been, I don't know. Different."

He shrugs, not sure what else to add to that.

"Then again, apparently no-one in LA has earthquake insurance. I didn't even know there was earthquake insurance until I was paying the bills last month."

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh okay, yeah, you do get like, superhero insurance. It's like, super-complicated though. Like, if Iron Man falls on you you have to go though the government. But if like, a Doom-bot crushes your car it's all different. I hear it's not too bad, like, getting money out of them and stuff though."

Darcy blinks.

"Ha! Super-complicated..."

Okay it is totally lame but shut up, finals are hard.

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry actually laughs.

"Yeah, that's a good one," he says. "Probably super-expensive too."

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy giggle-groans, the only response one can give.

"Oh man, we are on fire! We should be on the telly or something. You could do magic tricks and I could make puns."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"No, they already have something like that," Harry says. "It's called FOX News."

Damn. He should have saved that one for Perry. Why can't he ever make adult jokes where someone would actually notice?

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh snap." Darcy grins.

"Okay, yes, we can do it. Biting wit, some guy flipping cards and shooting himself in the face, it's like, primetime material."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"I only did that once," Harry says. "And I was, like, sixteen. And technically, it was my friend Chook Chutney that shot me."

[myeuh_muh]

"Does that mean I'd get to shoot you?" A thought strikes her.

"Wait, I'm not wearing like, heels and a sparkly leotard. You can wear that. I'll shoot you, but I'm at least wearing pants."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Nah, this is 2006," Harry says. "Spangly jumpsuits are so over, unless you're in Vegas. Then even the magicians wear sequins."

[myeuh_muh]

"Can I have like, a sparkly tuxedo? We could have matching ones and be the fabulous version of Penn and Teller."