In a bar...

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry's having a fairly good day, as these things go. He's taking a break from work, and has absconded with Perry's laptop to the bar, where he is typing up a blog post detailing their last case. Or at least, what he's allowed to blog about. Perry still insists on checking these things over before Harry posts them (confidentiality and all that, which fine. Harry can work with that), but he's got pretty good at knowing which bits to leave out or alter slightly to keep Perry in business.

And besides. It's kind of fun, being like Dr Watson. Only, you know. Without the doctor part.

Comments

[myeuh_muh]

"Well that's no fun." Darcy sighs, but perks up when the rat reappears with her milkshake. "Ooh, it's even got a cherry on top. That's what I love about this place, it just does exactly what you want."

Bliss is strawberry milkshake with sprinkles.

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry takes his milkshake and goes back to slowly tapping out his journal entry.

"I had a girlfriend who could tie the stem in a knot with her tongue."

Why did he just say that?

[myeuh_muh]

"Huh. I always wanted to try and do that, but I always had to use my teeth."

Darcy demonstrates enthusiastically.

"See? Not so attractive."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Yeah, I dunno," Harry says. "Teeth have never been my favourite."

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh they have their place. Can you do it?" Darcy puts the tied stem on her napkin and looks at Harry expectantly.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Can I? Yes. Can I do it without looking like an idiot? No."

He won't volunteer to try, but that's not the same as refusing if asked.

[myeuh_muh]

"Show me." Darcy demands, and a thought occurs to her.

"I promise I won't take pictures and show them to your boss."

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry rolls his eyes, but sort of exaggeratedly so, and not at all seriously.

"All right. But don't say I didn't warn you."

He fumbles around a bit, trying to get the cherry from his milkshake and get all the milkshake off of it.

It's possible he's just stalling. Very possible. Because something may have occurred to him.

"OK, time to be honest. I just didn't want to embarrass you."

He puts the cherry, stem and all, into his mouth. Barely a few seconds later, he pulls the (a) stem back out, knotted up. Then he pulls the cherry from his mouth, showing it as having no stem at all.


(The stem from Darcy's napkin might be missing, if she happens to look in that direction.)

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy fails her spot check.

"Holy crap. I bet you were the girl all the boys wanted to take on spring break."

[captain_fucking_magic]

The problem is now Harry's stuck with a cherry stem in his cheek.

"Uh. I don't really swing that way," he says with considerably less stuttering than he might have, once upon a time. "Sorry."

[myeuh_muh]

"That was by way of being a joke. If you were gay, you would not be wearing that sweater. That is the kind of sweater only a straight man could love, let alone wear."

[captain_fucking_magic]

He looks down at his sweater and frowns.

"I like this sweater," he says defensively.

Wait. Did he just prove her point?

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy gives him a look that says 'Yes you did', and then looks down at the table. Her cherry stem has gone. Assuming she knocked it over whilst flailing (happens more than you might think) she leans out to get a look under the table. Momma Lewis didn't raise no mucky pups.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Lose something?" Harry asks easily. He might even be grinning just a little bit.

He's about to be busted, but that doesn't mean he can't play things up again.

[myeuh_muh]

"Dropped my cherry stem..." Darcy says, looking under her chair and then straightening up, red in the face.

"Not that I was like, attached to it but it seems rude to just spread my rubbish across the floor."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Oh, uh. Here. Have mine."

He pulls his un-tied stem from his mouth, and sets it down next to the one he'd managed to swipe from Darcy.

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy looks at the stems and then grins hugely.

"Oh my god, you dirty cheat. How did you do that?"

She picks up her cherry-stem and inspects it closely.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Magic," Harry says, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I'm magic, you know?"

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy treats him to a long slow look.

"Are you talking like... For real? Or more like Penn and Teller?"

Because no offence Harry, but you don't really look like real magic.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"They're like, a billion times better at the bullet catch than me," Harry says. "When I tried it, I shot myself in the face.

"With a pellet gun. But still. Fucking hurt."

[myeuh_muh]

Darcy looks amused. "I'll bet. That's still pretty cool though. I could never get card tricks or anything but I love watching them."

She thinks about this for a moment.

"I mean, but it's totally weird, right? Like, I saw that Doctor Strange guy on Letterman a couple weeks ago and it just wasn't the same. It's just not as cool when the guy is actually pulling a rabbit out of a hat, sort of thing."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Doctor Strange?" Harry asks. He starts to laugh at something that seems insanely funny. "Times must be hard if the Sorcerer Supreme is pulling rabbits out of hats."

[myeuh_muh]

"Oh, no, it actually makes a bunch of sense, we did it in class. Like, because suddenly there are these really dangerous people running around in weird outfits and shit, and there are like aliens and stuff, basically it makes sense for the good aliens and dangerous people to like, show they won't blow us all up. To be honest, he seemed pretty annoyed at having to do anything, like from what I can tell, it was probably ironically meant."

Darcy wonders if she's said too much and drinks milkshake to stop herself from saying more.

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Oh god," Harry says, almost grimly. "Those damn registration acts haven't passed, have they?"


Because, like. That whole thing seriously sucked. A lot.

[myeuh_muh]

"No, not yet, they're in the second reading." Darcy looks grim.

"I've been out on like, protests though. Like, it's so stupid, like black civil rights and gay civil rights and even the fucking Holocaust never happened. Like, Jesus Christ. No wonder the mutant population are so angry."

She seems to be winding up, warming to the theme.

"And then like, they're all 'it'll protect everyone' and it's like, who the fuck are you protecting? Most mutants just want to live their lives and go to work and come home without a big red sign coming up everytime they get carded or pulled over for fucking speeding. It's like, people should be allowed to live their fucking life. If you don't want 'dangerous' people around, maybe you should stop giving lunatics guns or hey, here's an idea, give mutants the opportunity to learn to control themselves. You wouldn't force all the disabled people in America to register so why do it to a mutant?"

She pauses for breath and a thought strikes her.

"Wait, how do you know about the MRA? Cause like, this wasn't even a thing till 2013."