Round Two

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry's still rather new to this whole Milliways business, and it takes him a good while to accept the fact that he went through the front door from Perry's house, and has now gone back through that same door to find himself in a completely different house.

He's going to ignore the whole other country business all together. For now.

"That's, uhm... What the fuck?"

OK, he wasn't sure what was going to happen, but this was not it.

Comments

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry laughs. "Iron Man? That's a comic, sweetheart," he says.

OK, to be fair, the first Iron Man film won't come out for two and a bit years, still. And Harry's narration has no fucking clue who will play Tony Stark if and when it does happen.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mind blown.

"They never made the movie in your LA? Well, we should definitely watch it, I think you'll like it."

Mary puts down her wine-glass.

"We can get take-aways as well, if you like."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Take away what?" Harry asks, legitimately confused.

Seriously, she's English. These people invented the goddamn language, so the least she could do is speak it.

"And you sure that won't like, violate some sort of time-space-whatever law?"

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Um, there's menus on the fridge, and most of those places deliver."

Mary manages to understand and miss the point all at once, and is already on her knees sorting through her DVDs (one day she will alphabetise. Maybe she could annoy Sherlock into doing it?)

"And unless Tony Stark shows up at the door, we'll probably be fine on the space-time thing." She sits back on her heels and looks back at him. "Though if that does happen I suggest a threesome."

[captain_fucking_magic]

That wine Harry was drinking?

All over the carpet.

"Fuck!" he chokes out.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary's giggling again as she fetches paper towels and salt.

"You're ridiculous. Tony Stark is very unlikely to show up." She pours the salt on the stains on the carpet, and takes the wine-glass away from Harry. "Here. Mop up."

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry seems a bit put out at having to clean up the mess. But he does it anyway, because he's trying to not get thrown out of here. Christ, what would he even do if she did throw him out? Would he be stuck in London? Would they deport him? Fuck, he probably shouldn't even be here at all, now that he thinks about it.

He cleans up the mess he made.

"Sorry about that," Harry says simply.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"I just meant your shirt, you twit." It's kind of cute though. "Oh, you know what, you can borrow one of mine and I can stick that in the laundry."

While she's in the bedroom, Murphy saunters in, licking his chops. He regards Harry in that way that cats do when they meet new people. Since he doesn't have tuna or salmon, he ignores him and starts cleaning himself.

"Don't mind him, he's an old softy." Mary's got a ratty old Nirvana t-shirt. "Watch it though, he sheds."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Oh." Well, doesn't he feel like an idiot? Oh well. Too late now.

He looks at the shirt and wonders who it could have possibly belonged to before she got her hands on it, because it's like a goddamn circus tent.

"Got anything that won't make me look like I'm wearing my grandma's night dress?" he asks.

As the cat is ignoring him, he ignores the cat back.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Uh... Did your grandma regularly wear night-dresses referring to early-nineties rock bands?"

She waves in the direction of the bedroom and flops on the sofa next to Murphy, who gives her a baleful look and turns his back to her.

"You're welcome to have a look, of course, I just picked that one since it's you know, intended for a guy."

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Oh, no. Granny was always more a fan of Kiss. Loved the whole glam rock scene, you know?"

He looks at the shirt, and briefly contemplates foregoing the whole thing, but... But fuck, he already knows that this was a bad idea. One of the worst he's had in a while.

He puts on the shirt and tries not to feel like a complete douchebag.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Mary covers a giggle.

"Cute." He looks about six. "Right, laundry. Chuck it here. Oh, uh, it's downstairs. I'll be right back."

She grabs a basket of washing from by the door and dumps his shirt on top. The door shuts behind her.

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry tries to politely divide his attention between the television and the cat, very much not wondering what the hell is taking her so goddamn long.

Finally, he gets bored with waiting.

"You all right down there, sweetheart?" he calls out. "You didn't like, run out on me or something?"

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

There's clanging and scraping coming from the fire escape. Finally the window flies open and Mary tumbles onto the kitchen counter.

"Didn't you hear me knock?" She's red in the face, like she's just used a bin as a stool so she can haul down the ladder for the fire-escape and then climbed up the ladder and jimmied the window open. "I forgot my key and the back-door slammed..."

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry is more than a little confused.

"No?"

He points at the door, and then at the window Mary just climbed through, and drops the subject all together.

"Good way to get robbed, letting people see you getting in like that."

Harry should know.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"I'm fairly certain it's the way Sherlock lets himself in. And I got lucky, it's bin day."

Mary shrugs. To be honest, since Sherlock started showing up, she's not sure her flat's been empty long enough for someone to rob.

"Anyway, food?"

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry envies Sherlock's luck if he's been able to let himself in like that whenever he wants without ever having had the cops called on him.

"Uh. Sure," he says. "What's on the menu?"

If he seems a bit stiff and impersonal today, well... he's got a reason for it.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"Um, take-aways, I guess. We could go down the shop..."

She laughs, a little nervously.

"Is it just me, or is this a little more awkward than I thought it was going to be?"

[captain_fucking_magic]

"Yeah," Harry agrees. He sits forward, worrying at the hem of the huge fucking shirt she's put him in.

"I, uh. I met someone today. Before you showed up, and I... well, I learned some things. About me."

And his girlfriend. But that goes without saying.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

Oh for goodness' sake. Another one. How does she do it? Is it a bizarre superpower centred round her vagina? At least it's not a big get-together this time.

And there he is, looking like a blooming six year-old in an enormous shirt. Maybe it's the shirt. Darren wore the shirt that one time, didn't he?

She doesn't say any of this, but sits next to Murphy again, and scratches his ear.

"Alright, I'm listening."

[captain_fucking_magic]

Oh, this is dumb. This is really, really dumb.

"Did you ever have that one person who, you know, got away?" he asks. "I ran back into mine, over Christmas. She hasn't given me the time of day since, but I, uh..."

How the hell do you explain that you met your not-quite-future-self, who gave you a bit of inside information?

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

This calls for more wine. Mary refills her glass.

"So... You're waiting for her to call you? You'll just come home and there'll be a trail of rose-petals to your couch, or maybe the bed if your scary room-mate isn't home?"

She immediately feels bad. But she feels like she knows this tune, or one very similar to it.

[captain_fucking_magic]

Harry shrugs dramatically. "I don't know. He didn't say."

But, you know. All the awkward now.

"But, hey. If it doesn't go as he said..."

Or, rather, if it goes as other!Harry implied.

[mscontrarymary.livejournal.com]

"I guess I am a decent back-up. I'm not even in the same country, so there's no pressure."

A little bitter, but she feels she's got the right to be.

[captain_fucking_magic]

If it's any consolation, Harry does look properly sorry.

He looks like he's about to say something for a moment, but only shrugs instead.